Visitors should refrain from saying things that might offend the family of the deceased. Saying that “it was time for him to go,” “he lived long enough,” “it could have been worse,” and things like this can bring more grief to those left behind.

Parents who lost a child will not want to be reminded that their offspring died ahead of them. Nor is it comforting for them to hear that it was God’s will. “You can have another one,” should definitely be avoided as well. A child who died can never be simply replaced by another.

It is proper funeral etiquette to remain mum with regards to the timing, appearances, and theology of the deceased. The death of a loved one is never a good thing, under any circumstances. Keep in mind it’s never “the right time to die,” and no one has “lived long enough” from the viewpoint of those close to them.

Speaking about religion and God’s will is against good funeral etiquette as well. This topic should be left for the professionals, such as the priests and ministers. This is usually the common mistake majority of those of us are guilty of violating proper funeral etiquette.

What a friend can truly offer is his or her sincerity, support, and comfort, during a time of grief. He should anticipate the needs of each individual. The grieving process can be unique with each family member. It is an important part of funeral etiquette to allow the grieving parties to speak their minds out. Your role is to listen to them. They themselves might even say some things that should be normally be avoided, but it is their right to do so. They are struggling in finding answers for their loss. A friend should be there and be supporting. But the most important thing to do is listen. Keep your ears open.

The next thing to do with regards to funeral etiquette is to validate what the loved one has done for the deceased. Tell them how they cared and persevered during the hard times. A person might look strong on the outside but inside he might be grieving heavily. It helps him to be reminded of the good things he did while his loved one was still alive.

Proper funeral etiquette must be observed both at a funeral, and in the homes of those in mourning. Pay attention to those who are grieving, and learn how to approach each individual. The grieving process can be short or long. It depends on how the person takes it.

This post was originally published on In Loving Memory Poems at Funeral Etiquette.

We are experiencing a global recession and some of your friends may have recently lost their jobs.  You can show them that you are there for them with a simple sympathy gift.  Taking some time out of your busy schedule and giving them something can greatly impact their morale.

For someone who has recently been laid off, giving something that will help meet their needs can be a blessing.  Free groceries or gasoline are good choices for someone struggling with finances.  But if someone is not really financially affected by the loss of job, a fun gift can do.  A night out can cheer the person up.

An example of a sympathy gift is a gourmet basket.  It might say something like “get well soon,” or “we sympathize for your lost more than words can say,” or the like.  Sympathy gift baskets can be composed of various treats and food items.   You might include chocolates, popcorn, cheese sticks, caramel corn, lemon drops, cookies, assorted fruits, and a lot more.  Coffee and tea gift baskets are also usually enjoyed and cherished by the receiver.

Each sympathy gift can be unique, but finding the right one can sometimes be tedious.  The choices are endless, with many selections to choose from.  Custom-designed sympathy gifts can make a person feel rested and comfortable.  It can lift their spirits in troubled times.

Families of the recently deceased sometimes request that people donate to the family’s chosen charity, instead of giving them bereavement or sympathy gifts.  For them, the money given to a charitable institution can be put into better use than flowers which will be placed in the garbage weeks after the funeral.  Plus a family can be overwhelmed with the volume of flowers sent to them during a bereavement period.  But this is not always the case and it depends on the circumstances.

Sympathy gifts can be given to anyone.  It can be a relative, a friend, a colleague, or even just an acquaintance.  And it can definitely bring a smile back to their face.  It gives them the feeling that they’re not alone in their time of sadness or hardship, and is an excellent way of showing support without the struggle of trying to find the right words.

This post was originally published on In Loving Memory Poems at Sympathy Gifts.

Granny chose they dress me up in my favourite suit,
But this time there will be no return journey.
My brothers have put me in a box,
I am on display in the Living Room.
Living Room, what am I doing in the room of the living?
But they cannot hear me,
Because I cannot speak.

I hate this fake smile plastered on my face by the mortician,
It makes my Maggie cry.
Besides, what’s there to smile at?
And what’s Maggie doing calling out my name?
Can’t she see that my ears are blocked with wool?
I cannot hear her.
Look at little Krystal;
Does she even know I will not be opening my door for her?
Not tomorrow. Not ever. Never. No more Deshi!
Even Simon is here and he is crying.
Are those tears for me or for the twenty
Thousand shillings that now I will never be able to pay back?
But at least he comes near me unlike Olive
She has chosen to day to be afraid of me.

I thought I was mush loved at my place of work;
Where is my boss and workmates taking this box that am in?
Oh my! Oh my! Its 4PM!
Time for me to begin that dreadful journey
Jack fruit trees and banana plantations.
I so hate this path,
Mother took it and never came even though it was so close to our house.
You don’t believe me?
Then what of Aunt Harriet, Aunt Eva and Aunt Bernadette?
Little brother Douglas and Maggie’s Henry;
They all never came back!
I hate this path. I hate it! I so hate it!

And this pit they are lowering me into,
I don’t even know these men.
Who are they and why are throwing me in a pit?
Now I know I don’t like this pit and I don’t like these men either.
Hey someone, Maggie, please stop them!
You know how much I fear darkness.
Don’t be fooled by the shallowness of this pit,
Its too dark and very deep.
They should not put me down there,
I will never come out!
I will never come back!

This is very strange,
Everyone is throwing dirt at me.
All because the priest said dust to dust and ashes to ashes.
He lied! I have never been dust or ash!
Everyone is wailing even the more.
Are they a bunch of hypocrites?
No, that’s how they show their love for me.

They all bid me farewell even though they don’t know where I’m going.
But Granny seems to know my destination,
She tells me to convey her regards to her faithful departed.
So I am now also departed!

Dressed in my favourite suit
On such a tearful day
And with my loved ones abandoning me in the lonely wilderness,
This surely is my Saddest Day!

- by Luyimbaazi Dennice Vadim

Mention my name when you recite this poem. Its a dedication to my parents and all my faithful departed., Mother

This post was originally published on In Loving Memory Poems at My Saddest Day.

There are airlines that offer bereavement flights for people who need to see a terminally ill relative or to go to a funeral. These flights are available for the immediate family of the deceased or terminally ill.

They are usually discounted from the published seat rates of the airline, and have flexible booking rules.

Although they might sound like a good deal, some bereavement fares are actually higher than the airline’s promotional fares. When shopping for a bereavement flight, just make sure you’ve covered all your bases well, and ask for all available fares for a given day.

Flexible Travel on Bereavement Flights

One advantage of bereavement flights is that they have flexible travel rules which aren’t available with other fares. These have open return dates and allow date changes. This means that you don’t need to indicate the date of your return during the time of the purchase. Where your flight is concerned, you’ll have the peace of mind of not having to worry about catching your flight back.

Policies may vary from one airline to the next, but the majority of airlines offer bereavement flights to immediate family members only. These flights are not available to friends and distant relatives. Some airlines do allow domestic partners and legal guardians as well.

As proof, most airlines require the name of the terminally ill or deceased person; and the contact details of the attending doctor, or of the funeral home. When applicable, a copy of the death certificate is required by some airlines. It is best to check the airline first, to determine what the requirements might be. One airline’s regulations might be different from the next.

Prices of Bereavement Flights

The prices for bereavement flights are usually still higher, when compared to an airline’s last-minute rates. If you are in the unfortunate situation of needing a bereavement flight, the first thing you should do is to search for airline rates online. Once you’ve found the lowest rate available for your target date, call the airline to see if they have less expensive bereavement flights. If you don’t have the time to do this, you can enlist the help of a local travel agent to do the leg work for you.

Bereavement flights can be booked over the phone, or over the counter in person. You must already have the requirements with you in order to speed up the process.

Grieving can be hard, especially if you’re far away. A bereavement flight is the best and fastest way to reach a loved one’s funeral, or to spend some time with them before they go.

- by Anna V. Williams
In Loving Memory Poems

This post was originally published on In Loving Memory Poems at Bereavement Flights.

Simply register for a free account, and post your poem. When you are ready for your poem to appear on this blog, hit “Publish.”

We will see your poem the next time we log on to the admin area, so that we can approve it for publication. However, we won’t be notified automatically when your poem has been submitted. So if you would like to have your poem looked at as soon as possible, please send as an email to this email address or through this contact form.

A Few Rules

1. Any poetry you post must be written by you. No plagiarism, please.
2. Please post poetry in keeping with the theme of this blog. This includes memorial poetry, funeral poetry, or any poetry written in memory of a loved one. If you have any other type of poetry which you would like to publish, you may submit it to one of our sister sites, Free Poems or Poems and Stories.
3. If you would like to allow others to use your poems (such as in memorial services, letters to friends, or even cards or plaques) please state this at the end of your poem. Also state your terms of use. (We recommend that, if you allow others to use your poems, you minimally state that they must credit the original author.)
4. When you publish a poem, you may include one or two links back to your site(s) with your poem, provided that it is your personal site or is otherwise relevant to poetry, the arts, or the general theme of this blog.
5. You retain all copyrights to your poems. We will not use your poem outside this site without your permission.
6. We do not wish to publish heavily erotic or sexually oriented material, obsessive obscenity, racism, hate, discrimination, writing which seems to condone suicide or crime or drug use, anything else which we deem inappropriate, or anything which violates the law.
7. Any poetry you post on this blog is at your own risk. By posting poetry on this blog, you agree to indemnify and hold us unaccountable for anything that may possibly go wrong as a result of your having posted poetry on this blog. We ourselves will not act to harm you, or try to violate your copyrights in any way.
8. We reserve the right to modify, add, or delete the tags or categories which are assigned to the poetry in this site.
9. We reserve the right to remove any links in your posts, which we deem inappropriate.
10. You are encouraged to comment on other poems which have been published in this blog.
11. We reserve the right to publish or not publish any poem you submit, as we see fit. We reserve the right to correct obvious spelling mistakes or obvious errors in formatting (such as occurs when people copy their work directly from a Word Document into the blog, which is not advised).
12. We reserve the right to make any changes to our blog which we see fit, and to add, delete, or rearrange the poetry and content herein, but without changing the content of the poems, except in the case of obvious formatting or typographical errors. We reserve the right to include any content we choose, alongside your poetry.

Questions?

If you have any questions about these rules, or encounter any difficulties relating to this site, please contact us at this email address or through this contact form.

Thank you for your participation!

This post was originally published on In Loving Memory Poems at Submit Your Poetry.

If you have recently experienced such a loss, its understandable that you might be looking for the right poem to express how you feel about the person you recently lost. It is also understandable that you might yourself be far too mired down in your own grief to think clearly what to say or do.

There are a few important things to remember, when someone has died.

1. When a person dies, that doesn’t mean that the person is gone forever, or that the person no longer exists. In fact, it doesn’t even mean that you won’t see that person again. We are all spiritual beings. When our bodies die, that doesn’t mean that we ourselves also die. In fact, no matter what your religion is, I’m sure you can agree that we are spiritual beings and not bodies. This is one belief that all religions have in common.

2. Whether you believe that people go to heaven or hell when they die, or whether you believe that people are born again after they die, the fact remains that they go somewhere. They still exist, they have the same individuality as before, they have thoughts and feelings, and they may even still remember you for a long time to come. But no matter what, remember that there is always a chance you will see them again – whether it be in a future life, or in heaven. (Unless of course you suspect your loved one is going to hell and aren’t planning on joining him or her there – but if you are reading this article, the chances that either one of you would be destined in that direction are slim.)

With that said, lets move on to the subject of “In Loving Memory Poems.”

Your poem of bereavement can be something which you write yourself, or which is written by a family. These poems can be extremely moving to the rest of your family and friends, when read out at funerals or in other circumstances.

Another option is to find funeral poems which have already been written. Perhaps the most famous is the one entitled Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep (which can be found in this eBook download). But there are many others.

If you would like to write your own poem of bereavement or memory, please see Writing Poems of Bereavement.

I hope this information is helpful to you and I hope you get through this difficult time. Remember, there is one thing that whomever you have lost would probably not want. That person would probably not want you to remain sad and in pain for a long, long time. So – do a good job for the funeral, express your feelings and your admiration for your lost loved-one, and give them an excellent service which you feel they deserve.

Then remember to move on to happier times, create in your life, help others, and have a great future.

This post was originally published on In Loving Memory Poems at Bereavement.

Memory
Memory is a melody
Replicated in semitone
A da capo performed in diminuendo
the last dying note vanishing, unnoticed

And we wish
for the melody
not to pass out of existence
but to transfer to another space
where it obtains
forever

Written by Els van den Eynde

Originally published on Free Poems.

This post was originally published on In Loving Memory Poems at In Loving Memory – Poem by Els van den Eynde.