Funeral Etiquette
Everyone should observe proper etiquette during a funeral. A death in the family or of a friend can bring out the best and the worst in people. And while you might mean, some things should be left unsaid when visiting a funeral or the home of those in mourning.
Visitors should refrain from saying things that might offend the family of the deceased. Saying that “it was time for him to go,” “he lived long enough,” “it could have been worse,” and things like this can bring more grief to those left behind.
Parents who lost a child will not want to be reminded that their offspring died ahead of them. Nor is it comforting for them to hear that it was God’s will. “You can have another one,” should definitely be avoided as well. A child who died can never be simply replaced by another.
It is proper funeral etiquette to remain mum with regards to the timing, appearances, and theology of the deceased. The death of a loved one is never a good thing, under any circumstances. Keep in mind it’s never “the right time to die,” and no one has “lived long enough” from the viewpoint of those close to them.
Speaking about religion and God’s will is against good funeral etiquette as well. This topic should be left for the professionals, such as the priests and ministers. This is usually the common mistake majority of those of us are guilty of violating proper funeral etiquette.
What a friend can truly offer is his or her sincerity, support, and comfort, during a time of grief. He should anticipate the needs of each individual. The grieving process can be unique with each family member. It is an important part of funeral etiquette to allow the grieving parties to speak their minds out. Your role is to listen to them. They themselves might even say some things that should be normally be avoided, but it is their right to do so. They are struggling in finding answers for their loss. A friend should be there and be supporting. But the most important thing to do is listen. Keep your ears open.
The next thing to do with regards to funeral etiquette is to validate what the loved one has done for the deceased. Tell them how they cared and persevered during the hard times. A person might look strong on the outside but inside he might be grieving heavily. It helps him to be reminded of the good things he did while his loved one was still alive.
Proper funeral etiquette must be observed both at a funeral, and in the homes of those in mourning. Pay attention to those who are grieving, and learn how to approach each individual. The grieving process can be short or long. It depends on how the person takes it.
My Saddest Day
It all started when in at five past midnight
Now I am lying stiff and cold
Deep in troubled dreamless sleep.
Cotton wool stuffed in my nostrils,
I cannot breathe.
A rag tightening my jaws together,
I cannot protest.
My feet bound together,
Surely there is no escape this time round.
Granny chose they dress me up in my favourite suit,
But this time there will be no return journey.
My brothers have put me in a box,
I am on display in the Living Room.
Living Room, what am I doing in the room of the living?
But they cannot hear me,
Because I cannot speak.
Daring Time
You granted me childhood
Allowed me to err
You showed me life
Revealing the secrets
You read my soul
Unwarranted love
*******
You took a path
I could not follow
A right reclaimed
and granted
a thousandfold
*******
Time, re-created,
Is now a gate onto the future
And beyond that gate
Your future has now begun
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